Shamed or Unashamed?
Lord Sugar, in his television programme, ‘The Apprentice’, often shames his contestants by rubbishing their efforts before he says to them,
‘You’re fired’.
Shame
Shame can easily be used as a weapon against others, to humiliate them, as well as to bolster our own self-prestige. A boss can humiliate employees by repeatedly highlighting their faults. A parent can destroy a child by constantly pointing out what is wrong with them. This inevitably leads to a loss of confidence and subsequent further poor performance. Shame tends to make people want to hide and withdraw, and this itself gives rise to further problems. Repeated failures to do what is right results in our consciences becoming scarred and hardened. This itself can later give rise to all sorts of psychological problems such as anxiety, depression and character aberrations.
A Russian psychologist in the Stalin era boasted that he could get anyone to confess to crimes they had not committed. As he would talk with them and discover aspects of their past of which they were ashamed and he would then keep focussing on these until his subjects felt so ashamed and guilty that they would sign anything to try and atone for those wrong-doings.
Shame can also lead to depression which accentuates to desire to hide from others. A depressed person often cannot be bothered to complete the normal tasks of life; they don’t feel like tidying their home or doing the washing up, so everything around them becomes a mess. This makes them feel even more ashamed.
The answer to shame is to face it head on, accept that you have fallen short of the highest standards and determine to start again, doing what is right. The starting point is to know that you have been forgiven but then you need to start doing what is right. This may require a slow but steady start, for example, spending just five minutes a day tidying the home. Doing what you know to be right and avoiding doing anything further that you know to be wrong is the road to be on. Being led by our consciences is a good way to stay secure. Rejecting what our consciences tell us is a sure road to problems. Our consciences are one way that God speaks to us, he has after all put ‘his law in our hearts’ (Jeremiah 31:33).
Shame is such a destructive force. The Christian gospel or ‘good news’, is the opposite; it is through Jesus we can know that all our past wrong-doings have been forgiven and forgotten by God. Martin Luther was frequently the subject to self accusation. Satan kept accusing him, in his mind, of his many wrong-doings. In Luther’s commentary on Galatians he makes an incisive comment on the phrase that comes very early in the letter,
‘ . . .the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins.” Galatians 1:4
Luther wrote,
“When the devil accuses us and says, ‘You are a sinner and therefore damned,’ we should answer, ‘Because you say I am a sinner, I will be righteous and saved.’ ‘No,’ says the devil, ‘you will be damned.’ And I reply, ‘No, for I fly to Christ, who gave himself for my sins. Satan, you will not prevail against me when you try to terrify me by setting forth the greatness of my sins and try to bring me into heaviness, distrust, despair, hatred, contempt and blasphemy against God. On the contrary, when you say I am a sinner, you give me armour and weapons against yourself, so that with your own sword I may cut your throat and tread you under my feet, for Christ died for sinners. . . . As often as you object that I am a sinner, so often you remind me of the benefit of Christ my Redeemer, on whose shoulders, and not on mine, lie all my sins. So when you say I am a sinner, you do not terrify me but comfort me immeasurably.'”
Jesus is the answer to any shame we carry. The gospel reminds us that we can repeatedly start again with a clean sheet.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Ashamed
For a Christian to feel ashamed is a disaster, it weakens us immensely. We have been forgiven and empowered by God’s Spirit to stand up in society for him – it is ‘here we stand’.
When Paul wrote his second letter to Timothy he was feeling lonely as he was chained in prison, possibly the notorious Mamertime underground prison in Rome that can still be visited. Paul recognised that Christians were coming under much pressure because of the persecution of Christians under Emperor Nero. The underlying purpose of this open letter is to encourage Timothy and all Christians to put the past behind them and to be bold in the way they openly acknowledge their allegiance to Jesus Christ. Timothy himself was no mouse, he had been selected to act as Paul’s delegate to go and sort out troubled churches, yet Paul reminds him of the reason why he had been given the gift of the Holy Spirit. The flame of the gospel appeared to be shining less brightly and this was not the Lord’s intention.
“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not giver us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:6-7
Notice how Paul moves from addressing Timothy specifically to talking about all Christians – to ‘us’. What is this power that Paul talks about in this verse? There is no mention of miracles, he is saying that we have been given God’s power so that we can be bold in talking about the Lord Jesus. He continues to emphasise this by teaching that Christians must live, openly, sharing with others our commitment to the Lord Jesus,
“So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life.” 2 Timothy 1:8-9
This problem of being ashamed of our allegiance to Jesus was a problem then just as it is a problem today. Redeemer church in New York is packed every Sunday to hear Tim Keller preach. he church attracts thousands of Christians, yet in a survey only 6 per cent of its members said that they talked about the gospel to people at work or invite people who work with them to come and her the gospel explained.
I recently attended a men’s Bible study group at which everyone seemed to be both Christians and in very successful jobs. Yet when asked if they could tell of any conversations they had had in the last week about the Lord and how the conversation had moved in that direction, no-one had anything to share. The period was extended to a month but the response was just the same. People were honest enough to say that no-one present had talked to anyone about the gospel. It is unlikely that any in that group will ‘suffer for the gospel’. We don’t suffer for being kind and honest, we suffer when we say things others do not want to hear.
We must all find ways to share the message about Jesus with others. Jesus himself said,
“If anyone is ashamed of me or my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory.” Luke 9:26
When he was on earth Jesus trained his disciples to speak out about him. He warned them,
“All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.” Matthew 10:22
Jesus and John the Baptist unashamedly spoke to people about the kingdom of God and the forgiveness of sin that is given to those within it.
“A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master . . . So do not be afraid of them. . . What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.” Matthew 10 24-27
Doubtless those disciples, like us, were afraid of the possible consequences. Jesus answered this concern head-on,
“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28
It is God and God alone that we should fear. Fear of being different and standing up for something others might not appreciate is hard, but Jesus longs to reassure his people,
“So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:32
However Jesus still expects his people to be open with others about their commitment to him,
“Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.” Matthew 10:32-33
Some may understandably argue that such an attitude will result in conflicts which will obstruct the attraction of Jesus and his message. Jesus again answers this concern head on,
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother in law – a man’s enemies will be members of his own household.” Matthew 10:34-36
An atheist once told William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army,
“If I believed what you Christians say you believe about a coming judgment and that impenitent rejecters of Christ will be lost, I would crawl on my bare knees on crushed glass all over London, warning men, night and day, to repent of their sin and turn to Christ who is their only place of refuge.”
Christians demonstrate that we are not ashamed of Jesus by what we say to others about Jesus.
BVP
